Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Does anyone understand my situation???!!!

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance – particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “I thought You Loved Me.exe” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.


But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

6 comments:

The Reynolds Family said...

After almost 2 years of using Husband 1.0 I wish I could say I have it running flawlessly and know all the tricks...I'm obviously no computer programmer. However, I have discovered that I can be totally happy w/ the program despite the disfunctions you have mentioned above. Simply put all of your effort into teaching by example. I think the system must run like the machine "Incredi-boy" invented from Incredibles that learns as you go along and then makes application to its users. It certainly takes time, but it is so rewarding in the end to see the progress:)

Megan and Geren Tea said...

ha ha ha.... so clever

Ryan and Laura said...

love it! My husband 1.0 just scored points for taking me out to dinner last night...just the two of us! We should definitely think about the Hawaii thing. I know my hubby would definitely go for it! Let's get mere on board too :)

Kaylinn said...

did i mention...you are hilarious! So clever. i'm stealing this!!! You're lovely.

Jason said...

Very funny. You notice all the woman think this is soooo funny...My response (http://purdyscene.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-response-to-kallys-post.html)...

JK said...

Oh, that is hilarious -- and absolutely true... and of course it means I'll stop for flowers on the way home tonight...